I need more songs like "That Old Black Magic" in order to live, but Pandora isn't actually giving me anything suitable.

I think I might have topped Shangy's last message.

Normal people probably don't react to watching something new with "Hey, I think I saw porn of that on weepingcock, I should look it up now that I know these characters."

I wish I knew how to recruit more writers for our publishing press, but the younger internets baffles me in a 'get off my lawn' sort of way.

Also, when I finish reading my copy of Gilgamesh, I think I'm going to have to make a post about it to weepingcock, because it's kinda jarring seeing a reference to "sucking on your large rod" in the midst of your ancient literature.

I want this man's hat.

As far as i can tell, the premise of this movie is that thermodynamics have been replaced with VOODOO MAGNETISM.

My thoughts this morning while shoveling my driveway and watching my neighbor with his snowblower can largely be summed up by 'will trade sexual favors for snowblowing'.

Between Never and Clover, I'm so horny.

I really want to know how I got this far in life despite having limited manual dexterity, no attention span, and few usable life skills.